The Bottolfson Pack

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

April 15

Do you know what April 15 is? I bet you're thinking April 15 - Tax Day. You're right, kind of. It's also Mommy Appreciation Day at the Bottolfini House. Check out the wonderful gift I got from the fam -

It says:

In recognition of valuable contributions to the betterment of the Bottolfson Pack this certificate is awarded to you, Mommy. Let it be known that the members of the Pack, voting with a four-fifths majority (one member absent at the time of voting); have hereby declared April 15, 2008 Mommy Appreciation Day. Your sacrifices in regards to career opportunities and status of living as a whole have not gone unnoticed to the members of the Pack and are greatly appreciated. It is with great honor that we, the undersigned, present you with this certificate commemorating the inaugural Mommy Appreciation Day. We hope you accept this certificate as a small token of our unending appreciation for all that you have sacrificed to be here with us today. We love you!!!

Cool huh? I also want to thank my husband for taking the time to express the kids personalities in their forged signatures. Divita's was pink and sparkely with hearts (of course!) Bruiser spelled his name in Crayon - incorrectly and Finnius did his best not to get water all over but got a few drops oh his name. He must have been flipping around on the paper.

I wonder if I made it THAT obvious I didn't like it here? Wow. I'm an asshole.

We're gonna be trailer trash!

We're tired of paying hotel bills, plane tickets, boarding for the kids, etc. We want to travel more independently. With Bruiser and Divita we have limited hotel choices - none of which fit our standards. We've decided the only thing to do is become trailer trash.

We pick her up on Sunday - what do you think? Can we still be friends?

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Five Star Generals - Ugh

Every town has one. That one commercial that's on all the time and is so annoying you just can't get it out of your head. This is our commercial. Okay, it's not that bad but there are a few things that bug me to death. Hear me out?
1) This General wants to sell insurance to Airmen. Obviously he has a lot of experience as he is the ONLY man to ever be a FIVE STAR general. I mean, the leader of the war in Iraq is a four star General. They didn't think anyone would notice that this Five Star General vastly overqualified to sell insurance?
2) This gentleman also insists on wearing his combat helmet with a blue suit. As fashionably foward as this may seem, it's not allowed.
And finally 3) His mustache is seriously out of regulation. Period.

What's your favorite annoying commercial?

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Everything you NEVER wanted to know about me. That's why you NEVER asked.

I got ANOTHER one of those emails today. This time I'm posting it here. I love filling them out, honestly. They remind me of the questions you have to answer when you check into the ER. It's like a test and I know all the answers!

1. What time did you get up this morning? 7:16 and yes, I was on time to work anyway

2. Diamonds or pearls? Diamonds-duh

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Hitch - we never go to the movies - ever

4. What is your favorite TV show? Don't laugh - How it's made

5. What do you usually have for breakfast? soda

6. What is your middle name? this is a trick question, right?

7. What food do you dislike? i really don't discriminate

8. What is your favorite CD at the moment? Toby Keith's greatest hits

9. What kind of car do you drive? Depends on the day but the Tahoe-izzy is my fave

10. Favorite sandwich? up until yesterday it was grilled cheese with pickles and peanut butter

11. What characteristic do you despise? disloyalty

12. Favorite item of clothing? yoga pants

13. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? Chipotle

14. Favorite brand of clothing? Old Navy

15. Where would you retire to? Colorado Springs

16. What was your most recent memorable birthday? Florida

17. Favorite sport to watch? FOOTBALL

18. Furthest place you are sending this? uh....where does the Internet stop?

19. Person you expect to respond first? n/a

where is number 20???

21. When is your birthday? June 8 - every year

22. Are you a morning person or a night person? Night for sure

23. What is your shoe size? 9

24. Pets? 2 Furkids and a Fish named Finnius (Fin for short)

25. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with us? i have a blog, you know all our news

26. What did you want to be when you were little? a fighter pilot

27. How are you today? fluffy

28. What is your favorite candy? Reeses peanut butter eggs

29. What is your favorite flower? Gerbera daisies - aren't you listening?

30. What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to? April 9. then the 10th and so on.

Where is number 31?

32. What is your full name? This is a public blog so....Jane Doe

33. What are you listening to right now? outside

34. What was the last thing you ate? that's not fair - i just had a cookie or three

35. Do you wish on stars? Absolutely - what have I to lose?

36. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? FUSHIA

37. How is the weather right now? Cool and windy

38. Last person you spoke to on the phone? Sunday. She invited me to Taco Tuesday.

39. Favorite soft drink? Cherry 7-up

40. Favorite restaurant?any restaurant without a wait

41. Hair color?naturally?

42. What was your favorite toy as a child: baby beans

43. Summer or winter? No

44. Hugs or kisses? Hugs (unless chocolate - then kisses)

45. Chocolate or Vanilla? For what?

46. Coffee or tea? Ewww...nothing hot

47. Do you want your friends to email you back? Who doesn't?

48. When was the last time you cried? I think I fell yesterday.

49. What is under your bed? Do you know something I don't know?

50. What did you do last night? worked on my cross stitch and cuddled with my kids

51. What are you afraid of? abandonment

52. Salty or sweet? salty first, then sweet

53. How many keys on your key ring? 7

54. How many years at your current job? .8

55. Favorite day of the week? The day the housekeeper comes

56. How many towns have you lived in? 4

57. Do you make friends easily? Acquaintances, easily; friends, a little less easily

So now you know.

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Lucky Girl?

I think I'm a pretty lucky girl. My husband regularly sends me flowers for absolutely no reason at all. Well, there are lots of reasons, but I'm specifically saying there is no holiday today, April 3. Anyway, the one thing we've never had luck with is cards. Everytime I get flowers, the card is a train wreck. Example: A few months ago I got flowers at work. The card was lovely. It read: I'm so happy to be married to you. Then - "I love you Jessica". Who the hell is Jessica??? Good thing it wasn't our first date. That could have been a disaster. Another time I sent flowers to Carl but they didn't want to deliver them because "Carla" wasn't home to sign for them.

I got flowers today. Beautiful Gerbera Daisy flowers. My favorite. The card says: "I hope these daisies brighten your day. I know you always brighten mini." I bet the delivery guy had a good laugh over that one.

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Happy Birthday Mom!

Mom's birthday is on April Fools' Day. How cool is that? Cool Cake for a Cool Birthday.

I am a military wife- therefore I stamp

It all started so innocently. I hadn't lived in CA for more than six hours when there was a knock at my door. Another wife was having a Pampered Chef party and I was invited to attend. I was so flattered that they had invited me I never noticed that I was just their "fresh meat". Apparently all wives sell something - Pampered Chef, Stampin UP, Mary Kay, Avon, Body Shop, etc. - to supplement their income while moving every three years. I was the new girl on the block that was going to be suckered into hosting endless parties. What I didn't realize was that I was going to get so hung up on stamping!

I'm totally addicted. I'm sure you've seen my attempt to squeeze a holiday out of every month just so I can buy new stamps and craft a card to send. It helps that my friend, Diane, is wicked creative and shows me awesome tricks! I go to stamp workshops and parties every opportunity I get. I basically work at GMH to support my habit. Carl has even started to take an interest in what I bring home, not that he's going to be stamping anytime soon.

Saturday, March 29, 2008

You can't make this shit up.

I've got to say, I just found one more thing to like about California. White Trash. Hard to do in a town that charges over $4 a gallon for gas and over a million dollars for a shack? Not hardly.

I got invited to my first White Trash Wedding. Here is some background to get you up to speed...

How in the world did I meet this girl? She gets her nails done (in black, of course) at the same spa I get my bi-weekly pedicures in varying shades of pink. I understand she doesn't tip.

How did she meet her boyfriend? He was her ex-boyfriend's cell mate. Yep, I said cell mate.

How long ago did they meet? 2 months ago. We know this because she's 8 weeks pregnant.

Where did they register? Silly. They aren't registered. They are taking "donations" to get matching tattoos and to pay their Motel 6 bill for tonight.

This is the only picture that could be posted on blogger without getting flagged.
That bad, you ask? Yes. I blocked their faces so I don't get my ass killed.