I won't stop til I get enough

So I’ve pretty much spent every waking moment since Friday immersed in Olympic mania. I adore the Olympics. (The constant Olympic Blogging didn't give it away?)

It’s something about the purity of the competition, athletes that train constantly for an event that only happens every four years. The pride, the patriotism.

It makes me believe that if only I had stuck with my competitive swimming on the Kansas City Blazers swim team throughout high school that I could have been a contender.

Unfortunately I got tired of riding my bicycle the six blocks it took to get to the pool and, thus, ended my Olympic hopes.

However, I believe I have mentioned once or twenty times before that I was a UIL typist in 9th grade which was kind of like being an Olympic athlete except for the fact that I wasn’t a world class athlete, but rather a fourteen year old who typed more words per minute than twenty other freshmen in high school.

It was quite the accomplishment.

I was also a Mathlete.

Not really, but I like the term Mathlete. The real story is that it took me two attempts to pass Algebra II and even then I think I only earned a passing grade through the time-honored tradition of bribing your teacher with fresh donuts each morning.

Anyway, as I watch the Olympics, I’ve had a few burning questions and/or concerns.

1. Synchronized men’s diving. Thoughts? I mean I get the diving part, but who thought up the synchronized thing? It seems a little contrived.

Hey! You know what could make this dive even better? If we did it at the SAME TIME.

It has incredible potential as the premise for a Will Ferrell movie.

If your brother, nephew, or third cousin twice removed is a synchronized men’s diver, I don’t mean to offend. I’m just curious.

2. Female Chinese gymnasts. If some of those girls are sixteen years old, I’ll eat my hat.

3. Michael Phelps. I thought maybe I had a small crush on him, but realized I am getting old because my feelings are more along the lines of “Oh, he seems like such a nice boy and he loves his mama.”

But the burning question in my mind is what is he listening to on his iPod before races? Rumor has it that it’s Eminem or Young Jeezy.

See how I just threw Young Jeezy out there like I totally know who that is?

No idea.

If it were me (and I were back in the thick of the UIL typing competition) I know what I’d be listening to, a little “Bootylicious” by Beyonce and “Don’t Stop Til You Get Enough” by Michael Jackson.