Readers

Recently I had my annual eye exam and much to my dismay I was told I was in need of readers.  

Initially, I pushed through my obvious need for them because 1) I felt I was way too young for readers.  I was planning to wear cute readers in my 40s but they are not in my current fashion plan; and 2) I was quite confident the military optometrist was young enough to be my son and probably made a mistake. 

I did my usual mumbling and complaining to anyone who would listen.  I figured I could talk my way out of them with Carl since he usually buys into what I'm telling him.  It didn't work.

I mentioned my need for readers to Michael and he said something about me being a cougar like Sarah Palin.  This peaked my interest and I immediately Googled her glasses.  I didn't like them, but I was a little more interested to find that all readers didn't come with matching neck chains.  I started shopping around and found a cute pair of burgundy Coach readers with rhinestone dragonflies on the arms.  Score.

But wait, it gets better.

When Carl and I went to order my cute little readers (see how they are cute now?) the optometrist had to measure my eyes for the glasses.  She had me look into  something that measured the distance between my eyes to make sure the lenses were set properly.  As she pulled the measuring device back she did a double take.  I assumed something was wrong.  She said, "well that's strange, they're perfectly symmetrical.  you don't see that very often".

I looked up at Carl and asked, did you hear that, perfectly symmetrical?  Then I asked her to say it again.

I like this reader thing.  It's gonna be alright.

Yes, You Forgot My Blogiversary

Today marks the one year anniversary of my first blog post evar.

If we were married, you'd be sleeping on the couch tonight.

But this post is about celebrating ME. So let's get on with that. I'm sure somebody, somewhere got me a cake, right? And just so you know, my blogiversary happens to coincide with Cliche Day, Digital Scrapbooking Day, Fala Day and Sandwich Day so now you guys won't forget to buy me presents next year.

When you think you can't eat your cake and have it too, think of me.

Now, I've got a little bloggity something for you. Leave me a comment about why you keep coming back. Come on. Tell me your favorite part of the Pack. Please? Don't leave me hanging.

After all, I wouldn't have been posting for a year if you didnt' keep reading. I'd have given up long ago.

There might even be a little something in it for you.

A lil confession to make

I love hair and accessories. Make up and glitter. Nails and Shoes.

I'm sure you know it too.

Did someone say accessories? Or shoes? Okay, so speaking of accessories, check out my cute new Naughty Monkey Ballet Flats! Cute, right?!



Back on task.

I have a little confession to make to ya'll.

I haven't had a good haircut since I moved to California.

That's right.

Me.

Bad, crooked, chunky, over processed hair = me.

There are a lot of stories, good gossipy stories leading up to this, but I'll spare you because yesterday I met Jessica.

That's right. Jessica single-handedly made my hair beautiful (for a cost I have no intention of sharing with my husband.)

I spent FIVE hours with Jessica picking out various shades of honey, caramel and chocolate (I picked them all) to low, mid and hi light my hair with. Then she razored, snipped and sang her way through my hair cut.

I love her and I will be signing over whatever remains of each paycheck (you know, after the furkids are done with it) every month for her to gloss, snip and whatever else she does back there for me to end up with this.

What do you think?

Oh, and I'm hoping we can reduce the five hour thing to about 2.

GratiTuesday

I've been having some trouble with GratiTuesday lately. Not because I have trouble being grateful, but because as I write, I feel almost as if I'm bragging.

Today I was going to write about how grateful I was that my mom could afford to visit us each month because I love her company but the more I thought about it, the more it sounded braggy. Does that sound braggy? Like, "haha my mom has enough money to visit"? I never meant for it to come off that way. Agh. Carl said it did.

So I'm going to write about something else but would y'all weigh in on my gratefulness delivery? Does it come off that way? Should I ditch the GratiTuesday idea in lieu of something else? No good deed goes unpunished, does it?

DELETE and REWRITE.

I'm grateful for the Internet!

For example, just last night I wanted to tell my mom a story but it was late and I thought she might already be in bed so I typed up my notes and hit send. Instantly the story was waiting for her in her Inbox for a morning read!

Another reason I love the Internet is that I live in a small town that is practically worthless when it comes to shopping. What do I do when I need, yes I said need, something? I go online!

What about blogging? How would you ever know that I'm a grateful bragger if I didn't get on the 'ole Internet and start typing away?!?

My friend E lives in Nova Scotia. Yah, that's right, Canada. Not easy to make the connection without a quick email. Blessings of the Internet? I talk to her almost everyday!

And finally, Google. How would I instantly know the answer to EVERYTHING if it weren't for Google (and Wikipedia)?

My love for the Internet is endless and a little braggy.

A Sad Little Something

A sad little something followed some great news.

The great news?  My new migraine medicine works amazingly well.  My migraines still happen, and they still happen almost every week (yes, the great news is coming) but they last only an hour or two!  Yay!

The sad little something, you wonder?

My migraine medication made me lose my sense of taste.

That's right.  If I have a bad day and I want to gorge on chocolate, I can.  I just can't taste it.

That's right.  I can't taste chocolate.  At all.

It's like being on a diet and not being able to cheat.  

Part of me wondered if there was a way to move my tongue and rub the chocolate around on my cheeks until it melted.

Okay, I tried it.  It didn't work.

I can't even taste soda, and if you know me, you know I love my soda.

Anyway, I've had quite the week and last night I needed a glass of wine.  I tried to really hard to convince myself that all the bottles we had on hand went bad.  After I'd opened and tasted at least eleven bottles, my husband walked a tear stained and shaken woman back to bed and told me to "let it go".  

My life is over.  I can't taste.

I doubt I'll lose any weight because I'm not a quitter.

I wonder if I'll lose my sense of fashion?

Wants Vs. Needs

I don't mind a little confrontation. Actually, it's like my morning coffee, I need it to get me started in the morning.

That being said, please know that is not my intention with this post. I don't normally go all political or religious on this here little blog because my mama told me never to discuss politics or religion with anyone with whom I intend to maintain a friendship.

Therefore, we won't discuss.

I'll talk. You just listen and know that I'm not meaning to delve into anybody's political business.
I'm just spilling what is in my brain. Brace yourselves sometimes it comes out all jumbled up.

First, let me say that this whole economic mess makes me really uncomfortable. I watch the dow plunging and my stomach gets all woozy.

Not only does the financial condition of our country seem to be plummeting, but it seems to be plummeting under conditions that are unprecedented.

The thought that keeps coming to me, however, is that we are getting what we deserve. What did we expect?

Before you get rowdy, know that I am including myself in that "we".

I know several people who are living in 5000 square foot homes but are struggling to pay their electric bill.

Friends who have 75 cents in their checking accounts at the end of each month are driving Hummers.

A family going on a two week luxury vacation with no job to return to when they get back home.

I even have a friend who just bought herself a new Escalade and put rims on it while her house is being repossessed.
I couldn't make that up.

I've made stupid purchases myself. Mountains of clothes with tags still on them hang neatly in my closet. Never worn.

We have money in the stock market and it has been scary. Like, hide in fetal position under my bed kind of scary.

We don't try to live above our meants. I know that we didn't set out to live that way. In fact, I feel that by the world's standards, we live very carefully. But why are we affected by this financial disaster if we aren't living above our means?

Hungry Husband and I have been revamping our budget over the last few months and it has not been fun.

We've had to cut things that are pleasant.

House keeping service? Bye Bye. (Weeping and gnashing of teeth.)

Gym? See ya later.

Mani/Pedi? Only monthly now.

Eating out? Once a week, thank you very much.

Dry cleaning? Might ought to wear things twice.

We are not in financial crisis as much as we are preparing to live more responsibly.

Look at that list of things that we are letting go. I mean, seriously. Each of those items is something that I was letting someone else do for me.

Not one of those things is bad.

I have enjoyed each one immensely.

Immensely.

In no way am I judging anyone who partakes of any of those things.

I am just saying that for our family, at this time, those are not things that I need. They are just things that I want.

Our world has gotten needs and wants really confused.

Do we even know what we need anymore?

I don't know about you, but for the past few years I have felt the urge to simplify my life.
Get rid of stuff. Choose to be involved in things that matter as opposed to the fluff that fills time.
To live richly with less.

However, as our budget analysis has proven, I have a long way to go. I am thinking that I haven't really even started.

I'm wondering about you. Do you have those same thoughts? Have you been overwhelmed by the direction in which our world seems to be heading? Not politically so much, but materialistically?

Oh, and I don't know if you've heard, but I enjoy confrontation if you were thinking you wanted to bring it. You just can't do it today, cause my mama said.

GratiTuesday

It's Tuesday so you know it must be GratiTuesday, time for me to give a little shout out to the Lord for something which I am eternally grateful.

Today I'm grateful for my JOB!

Yesterday my boss quit. When you work directly for someone and they quit, well you start to wonder what you'll be doing.

I started to panic that I might be let go. I'm not sure why I worried, but I did. I received a call later in the afternoon that my job was secure and that the SVP would like me to stay on the project.

I need to remember that I chose this. I don't have to work, I WANT to work. I could walk away at any moment and stay home. We would be okay. Maybe not as many dinners out. Maybe not as many Coach Bags or Naughty Monkey shoes. Maybe not as much Stampin!, but we'd make it.

I'm sure in days to come I'll be overwhelmed by the work left behind. I'll be frustrated and angry. I'll cry and stomp my feet (yes, I still do that).

Today I will find grace and peace in my work (before it kicks my ar$e), but I am grateful that I am able to work and that I have a job in this economy and okay, okay you caught me...I'm grateful that I have....no boss!

GratiTuesday

I typically remember that it’s Tuesday after I post, which means that I forget that I can do a GratiTuesday post, a post where I can give a big old shout out to God about something going on in my life.

For some reason, I'm having a hard time being grateful today. I have a wicked migraine (again) and the "new guy" at work is making me crazy. I feel helpless and overwhelmed as well as full of anxiety and frustration. I'm trying hard not to lose it.

So today it’s for mercy and grace that I’m extremely thankful, not to mention God’s excellent sense of humor. When God says that He’s got it, I'm sure He does, even if I can’t see it.

Fun Things

Here are some fun things you can do on a weekend, you know, if your husband is busy watching football and you are bored.

1. Go to your craft room and create a fun card for your Brother-In-Law's 25th birthday.  Try not to think about the fact that he is 25 and will not appreciate the time and effort you put in to the card.  Cringe when you realize he will likely throw it away since there won't be any money in it.

2. Start to clean out your hall closet.  Then become obsessed with labeling and organizing the closet until it looks like this:

3.  Shop online for hours ordering anything and everything that appeals to you knowing your husband has credit card use notification programmed on his BlackBerry.   Smile when you realize hungry husband will begin receiving messages on his phone regarding said shopping and will immediately want to spend time with you.

Works For Me Wednesday

So today is another WFMW over at Shannon's and instead of saying what works for me I'm supposed to ask for advice.  

I wasn't prepared for this.

How could I be prepared to ask for help when, clearly, I think I know everything?

So I'm going to tell you a little story about my obsession with snack cakes.  

If you feel like you should be helping others with their problems, fashion or otherwise, head over to Shannon's and give her a hand.  

So, a few weeks ago I purchased some Hostess Ding Dongs at the grocery store.  Despite my disappointment that they no longer come in a the foil wrapper, I tried one anyway.

And, honestly?  Not really a fan anymore.

I don't know if the folks at Hostess have changed the Ding Dong recipe, but I found them to be drier than dirt.  Once I bit into that faux chocolate coating, the inner cake just fell apart.  I did something I never thought I'd do and threw away the rest of the box.

Mainly, because I knew, at some point, PMS would set back in and I'd eat the whole box in one sitting, all the while thinking how dry they taste, but who cares because they're chocolate?  I must have it.

I hosted my own snack cake intervention.

Then, at some point last week, a friend mentioned the Twinkie.  MMMMMMMmmmmm.  Twinkies.  Although I'm not usually a fan of the non-chocolate anything, it sounded pretty good.

So while I was at Costco last week, guess what I bought? 

That's right, baby.  The Twinkie.

I had barely gotten them out of the trunk when I opened the box.  The first thing I noticed is that this actually an oily residue on the inner plastic of the Twinkie wrapper.  This does not bode well for the amount of trans fats contained therein but likely does wonders for the moisture content.

I opened one and waited for my reaction.  It tasted like white bread covered in butter and sugar and it left some sort of residue on my tongue.  I threw the Twinkie in the trash immediately.  My tongue had an oil coating that would rival the Exxon Valdez.

Let me say I have NEVER turned down sugar in the history of the universe.  So for now, the house of Bottolfini?  No longer fans of the Hostess Snack Cake.

It's a sad day.

Stupid Holiday Weekends

Well, it wouldn't be  holiday weekend if one of us didn't end up sleeping in the hospital.  I just never imagined it would be half of us!

Friday night I came home from work to find Bruiser with a nasty, bloody infection on his stomach.  It looked a lot like his last staph infection so I made a quick call to our Vet and she agreed to get him in before the weekend started.  We spent a few hours having the infection tested and a few hundred dollars to get the necessary treatments.

We were out the door.  I couldn't believe our luck.  We made it before an expensive ER visit was necessary.  I felt so lucky!

On to Saturday where I clean the entire house from top to bottom and felt so good about it.  Carl finished his homework and I ran to the market to get the week's groceries.  After putting the groceries away and settling in for a movie I started not to feel well.  A little nauseous and maybe a bit of a headache starting.   I took the "miracle" drug Imitrex and laid down for a bit.  

I didn't make it long before an ER visit was required. Of we went to the dreaded Lompoc ER (because it was the ONLY place open).  I waited 3 hours to see a Dr. who decided that I may have a plethora of other disorders so...the blood sticks and testing began.  It was another hour or two before an angry nurse tried, without success, to obliterate my veins with IVs.  (Oh how I wanted my mommy.)  

Finally a nicer, but not by much, nurse was able to locate a vein in my hand and set me up with a group of drugs that not only didn't work but caused constant vomiting.  Five hours later I gave up and faked a 'miracle cure' so I could go home.

And here I sit, on my living room couch with two extremely bored dogs and a wicked dizzy brain.

Sorry about the marathon blog - I'm hopped up on something.

Stampin & Stuff

Here are some of the cards I've been making lately.

Sorry - I'm not very good behind a camera.

I made this card for my friend in Colorado.

In our relationship, I'm pretty sure she's "red fish".


I made this card for my husband. It was just a "thank you" for being such a great guy - sometimes. It's hard to make manly cards, isn't it?
Oh, here's something else I made this weekend! It's CHOCOLATE ZUCCHINI BREAD! Yum. We have so much zucchini in our garden and I'm so tired of eating it like a vegetable. I made this.

What? It's healthy...there is a vegetable in it!

Stamping Out Loud

I clearly remember my first Stampin UP! party.  I was overwhelmed and certain I would NEVER get the hang of it.  

I thought, WOW, these folks are creative!

Then I fell in love.

This weekend my friend and I got together, like we do almost every day, and I made this:

And this:

And this, although you'll have to turn your computer (or your head) because I can't figure out how to rotate it:

And this:

And this:


And my friend Laura made this.  I have NO CLUE what holiday it's for except I saw a birthday folder on her Cuttlebug so I'm assuming it's a birthday fish?  You be the judge, you know, after you turn your head again.

And no, the glass jar is not cracked or sparkling.  I already asked that.  She just wanted to use her blue pen.

If it's 3 p.m....you can find me in the pantry

I HAVE GOT to lose weight.

Metabolism may possibly be working against me.

And I think I found a cellulite dimple on my forearm.

I am all about self-control until the afternoon.  Then my evil twin takes over.  And she likes to snack.  A lot.

Could you give me a little assistance in the snacking department?

And no, the good-for-you snacks that I can think of don't sound good.

What do y'all do during that time between lunch and supper?

Apparently Swiss Rolls and ice cream sandwiches are not going to cut it.

(And you might throw in suggestions for the time between supper and bed.)

(Just in case anyone else that reads this blog needs help during that time.)

(Not for me, of course.)

The Blanket

My blankie is done. Complete.

Pink and Beautiful.

It was actually done about a week ago, but I fell, remember?

I fell in the sand and I fell on my camera. Therefore my camera is no longer operable.

I'll see if I can take a picture with my laptop but I can't make any promises.

It's beautiful though.

And soft.

It's mine.

I won't stop til I get enough

So I’ve pretty much spent every waking moment since Friday immersed in Olympic mania. I adore the Olympics. (The constant Olympic Blogging didn't give it away?)

It’s something about the purity of the competition, athletes that train constantly for an event that only happens every four years. The pride, the patriotism.

It makes me believe that if only I had stuck with my competitive swimming on the Kansas City Blazers swim team throughout high school that I could have been a contender.

Unfortunately I got tired of riding my bicycle the six blocks it took to get to the pool and, thus, ended my Olympic hopes.

However, I believe I have mentioned once or twenty times before that I was a UIL typist in 9th grade which was kind of like being an Olympic athlete except for the fact that I wasn’t a world class athlete, but rather a fourteen year old who typed more words per minute than twenty other freshmen in high school.

It was quite the accomplishment.

I was also a Mathlete.

Not really, but I like the term Mathlete. The real story is that it took me two attempts to pass Algebra II and even then I think I only earned a passing grade through the time-honored tradition of bribing your teacher with fresh donuts each morning.

Anyway, as I watch the Olympics, I’ve had a few burning questions and/or concerns.

1. Synchronized men’s diving. Thoughts? I mean I get the diving part, but who thought up the synchronized thing? It seems a little contrived.

Hey! You know what could make this dive even better? If we did it at the SAME TIME.

It has incredible potential as the premise for a Will Ferrell movie.

If your brother, nephew, or third cousin twice removed is a synchronized men’s diver, I don’t mean to offend. I’m just curious.

2. Female Chinese gymnasts. If some of those girls are sixteen years old, I’ll eat my hat.

3. Michael Phelps. I thought maybe I had a small crush on him, but realized I am getting old because my feelings are more along the lines of “Oh, he seems like such a nice boy and he loves his mama.”

But the burning question in my mind is what is he listening to on his iPod before races? Rumor has it that it’s Eminem or Young Jeezy.

See how I just threw Young Jeezy out there like I totally know who that is?

No idea.

If it were me (and I were back in the thick of the UIL typing competition) I know what I’d be listening to, a little “Bootylicious” by Beyonce and “Don’t Stop Til You Get Enough” by Michael Jackson.

August 13

So, today I am not back up to speed after all. The "SUITS" are in town so it will be a day of non - sensible shoes and meetings.

Try me again tomorrow.

It can only get better.

I'm back

You know what happens when you don’t blog for a few days ?

The portion of your brain that generates mediocrity on a daily basis shrivels up to the size of nothing, rendering you completely incapable of composing even your usual brand of okay.

So you will sit and watch women’s gymnastics for hours while trying to come up with something of interest to share and become completely distracted by all the various hair clippies that gymnasts use to hold their hair back. Why all the different colors? Why is there not more hair accessory coordination?

I think I may have just realized why I was never a serious athlete.

Tomorrow should be better as I work my brain back up to blogging speed.

I'm on a temporary blog break, enjoying a few days of summer with my mom.  I will be back on Wednesday, August 13.

GratiTuesday

It's time for a little shout out to the Lord, so you know it must be GratiTuesday, where I can be vocally thankful for something in my life.

Over the weekend Carl & I went to the private beach on base.

We went with our friends Don & Laura. Turns out Don is a LOT like Jeff Corwin, minus the silly shorts. Even though Carl & I had been to this beach many times before, we never found the things we saw with Don.

We saw a starfish, a sea urchin and an anenome (I will call him squishy and he will be mine).

I didn't really want to touch it, you know, in case it bit me.

Look what else I found. It's my hubs.
So today I am thankful for good friends - all of them. They are hard to find and harder to keep.

I'm also thankful to have these pictures. Laura took them and sent them to me. See, I fell in the sand and broke the camera (who does that?) so these are my only photographic memories of that day, courtesy of good friends.