My boy

My sweet "beer and wings boy", Bruiser, is wicked thoughtful.  He found this loverly shirt with his picture on it and bought it for me.  In Italian it reads: "I kiss my dog on the mouth".  So sweet. 

Serving Size

My husband prepared himself a bowl of cereal for breakfast.  And I'm the one with the weight problem?

Massive Smoke Inhalation Never Hurt Anyone

You may have heard we have a little fire problem here in California when the land gets too dry and the wind blows.  Little problem with fire.  What do you do when the weather is gorgeous and the alert system warns that you should stay inside, you ask?  You golf.  Right.  Nothing like going out where the wind blows and walking miles on end to ensure that you will have no smoke in your asthma ridden lungs.  

Oh the things we do for the men we love.  See the beautiful haze in the background?  That's just blinding, eye-burning love.

Because I don't have any children handy...

Well, and because my ovaries tell me that these are the cutest kids I will ever have.  Of course, my ovaries are not to be trusted, they have betrayed me before.

Also, I feel bad that I complain about my kids so much, and I want you to know that if I did not KNOW that they are the most gorgeous creatures to ever grace....hmmmm, I said that already, didn't I?  Anyway, if they weren't so beautiful, I would complain about the cost to raise them much more.  Just call me Shallow Mom.  Maybe I should change my Blogspot to shallowmom.blogspot.com.  I bet it's not yet taken.  

Look at those cute little noses.  Don't you just want to take little bites out of their faces?  I know I'm not supposed to have favorites, but the one above was my favorite for 6 and 1/2 years.  The one on the right has to be my favorite little stinker.    Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go make cuddles in their soft and freshly shaved fur.

Yum!

Hey look! A recipe!

You know how there are all those blogs out there that post gorgeous, mouth-watering recipes, and there are photographs of the ingredients all symmetrically arranged on the counter, the lighting is just perfect and you just swear you can actually hear a pot bubbling cheerfully on the stove?

Well this is not one of those blogs.

If you ever see a recipe posted at this blog, you can be sure it has been posted because:

A) It was cheap.

B) I had the ingredients on hand; and

C) There were only a few.

D) It will get me out of the kitchen as quickly as possible.

Those are the only recipes I use.

Ever.

Actually, one time I took a dish to a potlock and it contained dill weed.  I am proud of that.  Dill weed is an exotic ingredient, by my standards.

Anyway, back to my recipe.  I found it on a Crock-Pot blog and I fixed it for my husband last week when the temperatures on base were over 100 degrees for several days without air--it was a hit with hungry husband.

BBQ Porkloin Sammies

Ingredients:

A pork loin

A couple cans of Diet Coke

BBQ Sauce

Put the pork loin in the Crockpot and cover it with the Diet Coke and about a cup of BBQ sauce.  Cook on low all day (8-9 hours).  Shred the meat.  It will fall apart.  Top with a little more BBQ sauce and serve on onion buns.  I topped ours with cole slaw to help beat the heat.  

Enjoy!

We're Baaaacccckkkkk!!!

Sorry about the blogging vacation. A lot has happened in the last couple months. I only intended to take of a few weeks to prepare for finals when...well...Divita got sick. Then Bruiser got sick. Then I had trouble at work. It just spiraled out of control and then...well...no posts. So we're back and will be posting again. Hopefully I haven't lost my blogging MoJo.

Love J

April 15

Do you know what April 15 is? I bet you're thinking April 15 - Tax Day. You're right, kind of. It's also Mommy Appreciation Day at the Bottolfini House. Check out the wonderful gift I got from the fam -

It says:

In recognition of valuable contributions to the betterment of the Bottolfson Pack this certificate is awarded to you, Mommy. Let it be known that the members of the Pack, voting with a four-fifths majority (one member absent at the time of voting); have hereby declared April 15, 2008 Mommy Appreciation Day. Your sacrifices in regards to career opportunities and status of living as a whole have not gone unnoticed to the members of the Pack and are greatly appreciated. It is with great honor that we, the undersigned, present you with this certificate commemorating the inaugural Mommy Appreciation Day. We hope you accept this certificate as a small token of our unending appreciation for all that you have sacrificed to be here with us today. We love you!!!

Cool huh? I also want to thank my husband for taking the time to express the kids personalities in their forged signatures. Divita's was pink and sparkely with hearts (of course!) Bruiser spelled his name in Crayon - incorrectly and Finnius did his best not to get water all over but got a few drops oh his name. He must have been flipping around on the paper.

I wonder if I made it THAT obvious I didn't like it here? Wow. I'm an asshole.

We're gonna be trailer trash!

We're tired of paying hotel bills, plane tickets, boarding for the kids, etc. We want to travel more independently. With Bruiser and Divita we have limited hotel choices - none of which fit our standards. We've decided the only thing to do is become trailer trash.

We pick her up on Sunday - what do you think? Can we still be friends?

Five Star Generals - Ugh

Every town has one. That one commercial that's on all the time and is so annoying you just can't get it out of your head. This is our commercial. Okay, it's not that bad but there are a few things that bug me to death. Hear me out?
1) This General wants to sell insurance to Airmen. Obviously he has a lot of experience as he is the ONLY man to ever be a FIVE STAR general. I mean, the leader of the war in Iraq is a four star General. They didn't think anyone would notice that this Five Star General vastly overqualified to sell insurance?
2) This gentleman also insists on wearing his combat helmet with a blue suit. As fashionably foward as this may seem, it's not allowed.
And finally 3) His mustache is seriously out of regulation. Period.

What's your favorite annoying commercial?

Everything you NEVER wanted to know about me. That's why you NEVER asked.

I got ANOTHER one of those emails today. This time I'm posting it here. I love filling them out, honestly. They remind me of the questions you have to answer when you check into the ER. It's like a test and I know all the answers!





1. What time did you get up this morning? 7:16 and yes, I was on time to work anyway


2. Diamonds or pearls? Diamonds-duh


3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Hitch - we never go to the movies - ever


4. What is your favorite TV show? Don't laugh - How it's made


5. What do you usually have for breakfast? soda


6. What is your middle name? this is a trick question, right?


7. What food do you dislike? i really don't discriminate


8. What is your favorite CD at the moment? Toby Keith's greatest hits


9. What kind of car do you drive? Depends on the day but the Tahoe-izzy is my fave


10. Favorite sandwich? up until yesterday it was grilled cheese with pickles and peanut butter


11. What characteristic do you despise? disloyalty


12. Favorite item of clothing? yoga pants


13. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? Chipotle


14. Favorite brand of clothing? Old Navy


15. Where would you retire to? Colorado Springs


16. What was your most recent memorable birthday? Florida


17. Favorite sport to watch? FOOTBALL


18. Furthest place you are sending this? uh....where does the Internet stop?


19. Person you expect to respond first? n/a


where is number 20???


21. When is your birthday? June 8 - every year


22. Are you a morning person or a night person? Night for sure


23. What is your shoe size? 9


24. Pets? 2 Furkids and a Fish named Finnius (Fin for short)


25. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with us? i have a blog, you know all our news


26. What did you want to be when you were little? a fighter pilot


27. How are you today? fluffy


28. What is your favorite candy? Reeses peanut butter eggs


29. What is your favorite flower? Gerbera daisies - aren't you listening?


30. What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to? April 9. then the 10th and so on.


Where is number 31?


32. What is your full name? This is a public blog so....Jane Doe


33. What are you listening to right now? outside


34. What was the last thing you ate? that's not fair - i just had a cookie or three


35. Do you wish on stars? Absolutely - what have I to lose?


36. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? FUSHIA


37. How is the weather right now? Cool and windy


38. Last person you spoke to on the phone? Sunday. She invited me to Taco Tuesday.


39. Favorite soft drink? Cherry 7-up


40. Favorite restaurant?any restaurant without a wait


41. Hair color?naturally?


42. What was your favorite toy as a child: baby beans


43. Summer or winter? No


44. Hugs or kisses? Hugs (unless chocolate - then kisses)


45. Chocolate or Vanilla? For what?


46. Coffee or tea? Ewww...nothing hot


47. Do you want your friends to email you back? Who doesn't?


48. When was the last time you cried? I think I fell yesterday.


49. What is under your bed? Do you know something I don't know?


50. What did you do last night? worked on my cross stitch and cuddled with my kids


51. What are you afraid of? abandonment


52. Salty or sweet? salty first, then sweet


53. How many keys on your key ring? 7


54. How many years at your current job? .8


55. Favorite day of the week? The day the housekeeper comes


56. How many towns have you lived in? 4


57. Do you make friends easily? Acquaintances, easily; friends, a little less easily





So now you know.